Lennon's formula already spoiled? Lisboa gets steam rolled by the Invincibles

By: Ray Porter

This summer saw the return of Matthew Lennon as Lisboa's new (old) captain. The old regime had been disbanded after Lennon's cowardly exit towards Kerberos Athens, following a very toxic escapade which saw Marcus Wood dropped. While the Englishman had hoped for a triumphant return, current champions Vienna were too challenging as an opposition for 'the Sailors'. Lisboa's biggest concern was Vienna's star striker Hoffmann, who was supposed to be man-marked out of the game by Lisboa's captain. However, this did not work well, as the German would be the first name on the scoresheet after he first received a pass from Dos Reis, laid it off for Jaxon who immediately sent him into the space vacated by Lennon. Hoffmann had no trouble beating Bango-Bongo in the 1v1, scoring the lead for his colours in the 20th minute. It wouldn't take long for Vienna to extend that lead either, as another lay-off from Hoffmann found Jaxon whose through ball found the run of Dos Reis, with the entire Lisboa backline less existent than Loørd Bendtner's bitches, the Brazilian thundered the ball into the bottom corner. Despite Lisboa's fans hoping for the sweet release of the half-time whistle, or better yet: death, Max Jaxon would complete his third goal contribution of the first half. A McRoyale cross ping-ponged in the Lisboa defence, finally falling to the American, who toe-poked it home. 3-0 at the break and with no hope for a better second half, most Lisboa fans started exiting the stadium. However, at least a little improvement happened after the break, as Ruben Martinez found Bai Chao close to the half way line after an hour was played, the Chinese laid it off to Ahmed Zidane. The Midfielder sent in Bai Chao, who 1v1 with the keeper kept his nerves and scored a constellation goal.
Any hope created by this was short-lived, as Keetch found Hoffmann in the box, the German held off Lennon, and proceeded to score another low driven shot for Vienna’s third. Captain Mungo Scruyazelv started taking the piss, as he brought on his own dad for Vienna, a switch which miraculously worked: After Jaxon’s shot from range was saved by the keeper, Gavin Boyd would score Vienna’s fifth and final goal, as the game would end 5:1 shortly after.