MATCH REPORT WARSAW VS ATHENS

✍️ by: Jazz Man Dude

Two terrible, terrible teams. But usually, two bad teams even each other out, right? It should be a great and action-packed game.

A cool, snowy day. Immediately, the barrage of vicious passes highlighted the trash of these two clubs. This match report is very tough to write. Thought the horrible plays were funny? No. They were boring. Let me give you a rundown on life during this terrible rewatch. I must bend the rules of match reports and possibly risk my job for the completion of this report. Anyway, a bad shot in the 18th minute. And a free kick for Kerberos in the 44th minute—what will this result in? It goes vastly off-target—shockers. And the corner leads to a header, which leads to nothing. There’s the first half.

We’re skipping to the 60th minute. A bad cross and a corner ensue. Leads to nothing. That’s the game. 0-0.

To actually have a report, I’m going to write a song for Jmart to sing whenever he wants. “Warsaw, Athens. Both these teams are doodoo, goal? Never! (Ensue rap song) These teams play like children in a basketball court, kick the ball? How? Taking a nap every time they play, nothing is evah gonna happen. Leftwich, you suck especially. You look like a dog with rabies got that Andrew Tate fade on, why you look so damn poop? We gleam with joy every time we face them, a match? No! Jaydeepee, Bowlin, Handles, Lee, all going to the G-League! Poe you got a single bottom. Where’s your hoes? Nowhere! Jaycee? You a king? No! You a gosh darn donkey. (End of rap). Yeah, Yeah. This match is going to be shit, and now this song is over."